Baking Day

Every once in a while I start baking

and don’t know when to

quit.

Today was one of those days.

Started out with a buttermilk toasting bread-

007015

and then on to pumpkin pies-

005

And then Cookies!!!!

006

Peanut butter and oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips.

And then, finally-

012

Devil’s Food cake with Frangipane filling and Dark Chocolate Caramel Sea Salt

glaze and almonds.

011

Really really good stuff.

013

Really really good.

Capturing Spring…

It has become such a short season here.

A short blip between winter cold and summer heat.

And it is invaded on both ends by unseasonable frosts and

heat waves – I find I must seek it out whilst it is

here to be found.

SPRING!

003

Hydrangea Blossoms- (I cheated and bought these at a greenhouse!)

010

007Lovely pale pink hyacinth…

014

Cowslips ( primrose) growing at the side of my front walk.

015

Dandelions littering the yard with bright yellow.

016

A very healthy clump of chives in my vegetable bed.

017

Coral bells lifting her stalk- promising a future silent chorus.

 019

Daffodils still in nightdresses – getting ready for their unveiling, soon!

020

Virginia bluebells…

021 in a woodsy location-always one of the opening acts!

026

Flowering Quince- not much good for fruit- but lovely early flowers.

029031

And of course the lovely violet, humble and sweet, growing amongst the grasses.

033

Lamb’s ears- so soft and fuzzy… Smile

035

And a Japanese plum- the leaves are a soft red- the flowers will be almost white.

Spring in NE Ohio- Here for only a short time- so I’m trying not to miss the show!

When Silence enters the heart.

I am a functioning depressed person.  I can chat, cook, shop, babysit,

pay bills, wash, clean – all those tasks I need to keep my home and family

running.  But what I want to do is read and occupy someone else’s life.

And I cannot write.

There is silence inside my heart.

The feelings are so strong that my words shut down.

Spring has become a trap for me-

I long for the new life around me and yet I encounter the

memories of death and loss.  I lost my sister-

a woman who was part of myself-

the other side of myself –

Fifteen years ago.

I started this blog 5 years ago when I finally could

write again and for the first year all I really wrote about

was her.  And those final 10 weeks of her life as we

battled against the cancer that took her.

Ten weeks- all of Spring and then she was gone.

And Spring was gone- and has forever after become a time

of hope and loss.  And…

That silent place within my heart.

I look at budding flowers and see her gardens.

I long to make them into small bouquets of tribute and hand

them out to anyone who will reach for them.

I spent my time in the Intensive Care Unit making little

nosegays and giving them away – asking for prayers- hoping

for miracles.

Silence breeds silence. 

If I don’t shake this off, I may walk away-

and I don’t want to do that.

I have made some very dear friends through this

venue of blogging and losing you would diminish

my life more than I can say.

So please forgive me –

I will be back as soon as I can find something

positive to say. 

And thank you for your friendship.