Thoughts before my 56th birthday…………….

Last week I had two phone conversations that made me think.

(Actually -MOST conversations make me think- at least a little! 🙂 )

One was with the nurse from my diabetic management team.  They call every couple of months just to see if I am still here- ask me a bunch of questions that they want yes or no answers to, and generally waste my time.  But – they do get me free testing supplies and needles- so I put up with the inconvenience.  One question they ALWAYS ask is – am I depressed?  Has my depression caused me to miss out  on business or social activities?  Have I been diagnosed as in a state of depression?  I realize that there are three questions there, but they add up to one. 1+1+1=1  Am I depressed?


well, maybe, since you keep asking.

Conversation #2 was with my brother. 

He is depressed.  Or as he describes it- down.

We talked- we laughed- we commiserated with each other’s troubles- and then he asked- ” Has your life turned out the way you thought it would?”


or, maybe?

I’m not sure I thought that much about a finished life.  Like how it would turn out.  I just lived it, trying to do the best thing, attempting to follow God’s leading- looking for ways to do that which was right and good.  Loving, trusting, obeying, following, believing, teaching, upholding, giving, taking, reading….

I made a lot of mistakes.  I did a lot of things right. 

I didn’t have a master plan- I just did what came next to the best of my ability and understanding.

I’m not depressed.  I am pollyanna.

I think happy thoughts and search out joy filled moments. 

And I escape harsh reality in flights into literature.

And my life is,… well, my life is my life.

I’ve lived every moment of it- experienced joy and sorrow, success and failure, lost and found- it has added up to the grand total of me.


My math skills are depressed.

3 thoughts on “Thoughts before my 56th birthday…………….

  1. Heidi, I know this is a bizarre comment, but you might enjoy this quote from a recent Doctor Who episode as much as I did:

    “Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things, or make them unimportant.”

  2. Laughing with delight! Celia- how could you know that I’m a total Dr. Who fan!
    That is so true- life is life- it all counts and never adds up the way it should, yet it is what we have to deal and work and continue in our existence.
    Thank you for the quote- it is as nice as a birthday card. I love it!

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