Last week I had two phone conversations that made me think.
(Actually -MOST conversations make me think- at least a little! 🙂 )
One was with the nurse from my diabetic management team. They call every couple of months just to see if I am still here- ask me a bunch of questions that they want yes or no answers to, and generally waste my time. But – they do get me free testing supplies and needles- so I put up with the inconvenience. One question they ALWAYS ask is – am I depressed? Has my depression caused me to miss out on business or social activities? Have I been diagnosed as in a state of depression? I realize that there are three questions there, but they add up to one. 1+1+1=1 Am I depressed?
well, maybe, since you keep asking.
Conversation #2 was with my brother.
He is depressed. Or as he describes it- down.
We talked- we laughed- we commiserated with each other’s troubles- and then he asked- ” Has your life turned out the way you thought it would?”
I’m not sure I thought that much about a finished life. Like how it would turn out. I just lived it, trying to do the best thing, attempting to follow God’s leading- looking for ways to do that which was right and good. Loving, trusting, obeying, following, believing, teaching, upholding, giving, taking, reading….
I made a lot of mistakes. I did a lot of things right.
I didn’t have a master plan- I just did what came next to the best of my ability and understanding.
I’m not depressed. I am pollyanna.
I think happy thoughts and search out joy filled moments.
And I escape harsh reality in flights into literature.
And my life is,… well, my life is my life.
I’ve lived every moment of it- experienced joy and sorrow, success and failure, lost and found- it has added up to the grand total of me.
My math skills are depressed.