We aren’t done playing yet!

Chincoteague May-day5 006

When Robin was alive, we would plan our summer in May.

Picnics, garden parties, teas, family celebrations, Midsummer’s extravaganza’s-

we would plot, plan and scheme, bouncing ideas and themes off of each other and fill notebooks with recipes and sketches of decorations. 

And when we weren’t planning a happening we found happenings to attend.

Our children played down at the creek, digging up the clay, floating down lazily in makeshift boats, fishing or searching for crayfish.  They were muddy and wet and so intense about their occupation.  And then they would rinse off and spend hours in the pool- diving down deep to retrieve coins on the bottom or trying to dunk each other- sometimes just floating on innertubes and looking up at the clouds and the trees overhead.

It now seems like a time of bliss. 

Not that life is unhappy now- only somehow- the magic has diminished. 

I remember my own childhood with the same hazy happiness- as a time of wonder and magical possibilities lying just around the corner.  All we had to do was go forward and there was adventure and friendship- parties that seemed to fall into place without much worry or hassle.

When Robin died, I lost my way.  I couldn’t seem to find the paths that led to joy- the lovely lanes of summer were closed to me- and I never did get back to the magical days I had once known and loved.

I became a grown-up.  And growing up came from deep sorrow and loss.

Because my playmate was gone- one of the last conversations we had was about we really weren’t done playing, yet.  That was our greatest excuse to our mother when she wanted us to come in at dusk-” Mommy!  We aren’t done playing yet!”

When it was time for bed- “We aren’t done playing yet!”

When she had jobs for us to do-“But we aren’t done playing yet!”

But when Robin died, the playing stopped.

I still plan parties and picnic and have teas.

Still have notebooks of  recipes-

just lost the magic.Heidi & Robin

7 thoughts on “We aren’t done playing yet!

  1. This is beautifully written. It makes me sad, as well as a little happy. I love the picture. I feel the loss. I love you and am praying for you today.

  2. Heidi, You and Robin had a wonderful childhood and were able to stay friends through your adulthood as well. Both of you were given something very special. Not many are given such a beautiful and rare gift.Some day you will be with her again. I love you and am very happy you are home.

  3. Elizabeth- thank you for your love and prayers!
    Cynthia- I am so thankful that I still have my “big” sister- you are so very dear to my heart! Sorry you had to grow up with all of the boys!
    Celia- thank you for your concern. Robin died 12 years ago, but I still miss her so very much. Believe it or not, blogging has helped me to deal with the loss.
    I appreciate all the wonderful friends I have made through the internet.

  4. Loving thoughts being sent your way. It is obvious how much you adored your sister. And I know your adore her daughter as well; how blessed Allison is to have you!

  5. Aidan says the same thing when I tell him it’s dinner or bed time. He says, “Aidan still playing with …..” It’s so cute I almost want to let him keep playing until he’s finished.

  6. I totally agree with him. Playing is so important- its worth is often diminished by time schedules. But – when he starts rubbing his eyes and puts his head down on bear- then he’s done playing for the night!

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