Living a double life

I sometimes feel like I am not whole.

Splintered would describe me more often than not.

I am somewhere between most places and attitudes.

What is that pithy Christian saying?  Something about, ” Forgive me, God’s not finished with me yet.”?

Well, then, forgive me, because I’m nowhere close to being done, yet.

Right now, I’m somewhere between the  Eastern coast and the cornfields of Ohio.

Skipping between the beach and the ‘burbs.

Lost between Meredith’s house and my own.

And wherever I am, I’m thinking I should be at work in the other place.

Do you ever feel like this?

5 thoughts on “Living a double life

  1. absolutely and all the time… i often feel like i lost myself when I had kids and i miss who I was and don’t yet know who this 10 year old mom that I am is…

  2. Kim sent this to my gmail acct.- and I wanted to comment on it- so I’m reposting it here.

    Hi Heidi,

    I’ve tried to leave comments at your blog several times and I always get an error message. This is what I wanted to leave at your most recent post re: living a double life.

    Yes, but in a little different way. I named my blog Hiraeth after the Welsh word that means longing for that place that is most dear to you–being away from home.

    I think a lot of the reason we feel unsettled is that we don’t really belong in this world; we’re citizens of heaven and that’s really where we long to be.

  3. Kim-
    Actually, I was heading in that direction with this post, but it somehow seemed like a good place to stop and allow others to fill in the blanks for themselves. Actually- I don’t think we are emotionally fitted for this world. We are lost and frightened but afraid to reach out to each other for help most of the time. We recognize that we are lacking but are uncertain as to what the lack may be- and we spend a lot of time trying to fit The apostle Paul tells us we need to learn to be content whatever our state- and that contentment is truly a gift of the Holy Spirit.

    Jordan says I NEED to get back to teaching Bible studies, because I sure preach a lot on here. But this is my reality- I act and react as a believer and my steps are headed in His direction and hopefully AT His direction, so please forgive if the tone is preachy.

  4. I think that just may be my identity. 🙂 I am the least “put together” person out there. Truthfully, I think most people feel this way…but…some people don’t let on as much as others. 😉

  5. Amen to all the above. I feel that way daily, hourly, sometimes minute-ly. This world is not our home, this mom–who is she? What I do I don’t want to do and what I don’t want to do, that I do. Caught. But with eyes toward Home.

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