My brother, Gary, died today.
He is the third of my siblings to die.
He has been sick for such a long time.
His death did not come as a surprise.
I am feeling the loss. Sad because we were not as close as I would have liked, sorry for my part of the distance, and wondering why it isn’t easier to have relationships with people you love.
I’m thankful that he said that he had made peace with God. I’m not really sure what that meant – he never did speak much about spiritual matters to me. ( I was his “little” sister and there was always those years between us.)
I just wanted to say goodbye in a tangible way. To somehow offer out a statement of memorial for a man who mattered to me. I was never sure how much I mattered in his life, but in many ways his life helped to shape mine.
Please pray for his wife, sons and grandchildren- he loved them very tangibly and their loss will be great.
When I think of the Gary I knew in the 70’s, I think of this laughter. He was so ready to laugh.
I think of his talent and that beautiful mosaic that took it’s place at the top of the stairs at his mother’s home. I like that he became my ‘friend’ on facebook, even though we had not seen each other in soooo many years. I am sorry for your loss!
This is beautifully written–a tribute he would have liked although probably would never have said so. I am sorry for your loss and our loss and I am hopeful for the family reunion to come.
Family mattered to Gary. He didn’t always let you know, but he cared. The tribute you wrote, would have brought a smile to his face. I am sad because I’ve lost my brother. I will continue to pray for his family. Their loss is great for they have lost a husband, father and a grandfather.
I will hold you and your family up in prayer… so very sorry for your loss.
Oh, I’m so sorry, Heidi.
I am feeling the distance physically. Because we are the same ages as our cousins, we spent a lot of time at their house as small children and I only have good memories of Uncle Gary. As a teenager, and especially as an adult, I came to appreciate his dry sense of humor. I believe that was his way of reaching out and loving us. Although I have not been able to see him for many years, his death still creates a loss in our family, and I’m feeling it here. I am praying for all of us as we are faced with death.
I’ve been thinking about Gary and his family, and you and the rest of the family since I heard of his passing. Our lives are so fragile in some ways, so durable in others… Though I knew Gary only as an acquaintance, I am sad for you in the loss.
I am also unsure why it is can be so difficult to share relationships with the people we love. In my own life, I’m sure it’s tied to my pride, and not wishing to be under anyone’s constant scrutiny (which is what family feels like at times). Most of us don’t like to be corrected, but we think our ideas are best for everyone else. This seems especially true in family.