I don’t know- maybe I’m discouraged because I put up a whole post and most of it got lost somewhere?!
Maybe because lately everything I touch seems to go askew?!
Maybe because right now life is hard and there only seem to be answers for the afterlife, NOT here?!
Maybe because I’m just tired.
But I’m going to try again.
Psalm 42
BOOK II : Psalms 42-72
For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah.
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
“Why are you downcast, Oh my soul?”
I know the right answer. I do.
I know to turn to the Lord for HOPE.
To spend time in PRAISE.
To look outside of myself and focus on the LORD of ETERNITY.
To remember when I was with the throng WORSHIPING the KING.
I KNOW all this.
But right now it seems that I am too weak and selfish and forgetful.
Right now I can hardly look out of this pit I’ve dug for myself.
Right now, God (and Rick Warren ) forgive me, but it seems to be
“ALL ABOUT ME!!!”
And yet, it isn’t, really, is it?
It is about how BIG God is next to my very small.
It is about how FAITHFUL God is next to my treacherous soul.
It is about how BEAUTIFUL God is in comparison to my ugly tawdry self-
and about how He can and has transformed me to be in the image of Christ.
Because it is really about Jesus.
Who knows, really knows, about the pit.
It really is about Jesus, my saviour and my God.
And somehow that comforts me.
Heidi, thank you for going to the trouble to repost this, I found it very moving. Much love to you…
Every single word of this post resonates with me. Thank you.
Heidi, I’ve been there. I’m sorry, you have to travel this road. You are right we must keep our eyes on Jesus. You, my dear sister are precious. You are often in my prayers. I love you!